Beautiful Trance

Fullstop.

2009-01-01T03:09:00.000+08:00

[2009]

SEE YAAA!

673 and final.

2008-12-31T16:44:00.002+08:00

"2007: Here are my resolutions:
Improve my GPA (I'm dead serious about this) - ACCOMPLISHED
Get my car license (I'm serious about this too) -ACCOMPLISHED
Update my wardrobe (haha!) -Halfway there
Be a better Muslim (Insyallah) -Still being one"

I'm trying so hard to focus on my closure but Harry Potter is distracting me. Haha.

Sheesh. 2008.

It has been a long dreadful year for me. I've learnt alot this year and especially this year, I learnt to pick up skills I never thought I would master and gained on friendships and relationships.

Let's start with family. I am proud of myself for being able to give up on my social life for my late mother. I do not regret missing out on any of those outings nor functions because honestly, nothing matters more to me than my mother. And nothing will ever matter more to me than her. Her illness has been a blessing in disguise in some ways for myself and my family. And I am more than thankful for everything that has happened, either good or bad. Yes. Because I still do believe everything happens for a reason.

Abang and Adik (: I am really very happy looking at the bond we have now. Quarrels are inevitable with us but that's what sticks us together, ironically. And I know I don't say this much but, I won't be able to do without you. I love you both very much despite being the irritants you both are. Hahaha.

" Its not about finding the right person, but its about creating the right relationship. Its not about how much love you have in the beginning, but its about how much love you build to the end."

And the above I believe strongly applies to our wonderful relationship. I did not see you as boyfriend material initially. Neither did I find you good looking. Hahaha. Hilmi my darling has been always attentive to me, especially through everything. You've been there by my side at Mama's last and final breath. You've been there through my nights at the hospital. And you've been there for every unhappy moment I had (: I'm glad I found you.

I do admit I've not been a good bro to my bros. Heh. But you guys truly are a gem to me. Helping me through my tough periods, especially in July. I know for sure that friends like you guys are hard to come by. My birthday was made special thanks to you guys :) Ravan, lets move on from that one-off comment I made about having your bros. Because urmm... ultimately, we won't be the one fulfilling your fantasies. You need your woman for that. HAHAHA.

Norashikin Kamarolzaman! Kau baik punye kawan kau tau brape banyak aku sayang sama kau! Random calls and messages always work for us despite our busy schedules (: You're the one girlfriend I know I can always fall back on at any time. Hehehe. Wa banyak sayang samu lu babe!

Aju keju. Thank god your appeal fell through. Hahhaha. I'm a little bit sad looking at how the distance between us is slowly expanding. But you know no matter what, you'll always be my BCF. HAHA.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank everyone who has been rendering me the support and strength I need.

I went through alot this year. And I lead myself down some paths I never thought will be viable to me. But it's okay. Life's a wonderful learning experience. And on my plans to start afresh this 2009 and to leave everything else behind, I'm moving. I'm going to refrain myself from looking back but instead, to constantly look ahead and accept what has been kept instore for myself.

Good Bye Beautiful Trance. You've served me well. Haha.

Lots of love,
Siti Raudhah

2008-12-30T17:43:00.000+08:00

"I'm sorry Ma'am but the only available phones are f480 and f800++"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I WANT F700!!!!!!!!!!!

:(

Please do note that I do not fall in love with phones easily. And each time I fall in love with a phone, it's either no longer for sale or too pricey.

BULLSHIT.

I want.

2008-12-30T17:17:00.004+08:00

Nice eh this Samsung Pixon. But I want it this way...

I think eh.. I'll just take the Samsung F700. Haha. Because I like the keypad and being an SMS person, that's the most important thing to me. Now that I've got Elise, camera functions are the list on my list. I just want a phone that's fast and speedy and something I'm comfortable with.

PAPPPAAAAA!!!

Update: EH HOW COME IT'S NOT SOLD IN SINGAPORE YET?? OR IS IT AN OLD PHONE???? I WANT THIS PHONNEEE!!!

Happyness.

2008-12-29T23:36:00.006+08:00

After much unnecessary stress, Kak Yaya's finally married and more than happy. While us girls were talking in the kitchen with Kak Yaya, she suddenly zoned out and smiled when our conversation was far from funny. Hahahaha. It was then that Kak Dina pointed out she was smiling when she looked at Abg Aziz. HAHAHAHA. Happy or what!

The wedding was a succesful event with Mr. Sunshine being active till 5pm on Sunday. Alhamdullilah :)

Abg Aziz action only confident. Padehal padehal. Haha!

The flower arrangement was awesome! I totally loved it! *gasps* Did I just say I love it??

THIS BABY SO CUTE I WANT TO KIDNAP HER PLEASE! Yes, it's a her. Haha.

Hehehehehehe! Thank you for everything you've done for me Cik! :DDDD

Life just keeps getting better and better. Syukur Alhamdullilah :D

2008-12-27T11:12:00.002+08:00

Standing up on my own two feet without your support is so very hard for me. I still have days where I'd wish you would give me a hug and your guidance. Sit with me on the bed while I tear away.

As much as I would like to appear calm and strong, I still always believe every girl needs her mother no matter what.

I miss you very very much Mama.

:'(

Thankful.

2008-12-27T01:04:00.001+08:00

Life's been so great for me, especially for today and the next few days :))

Rollin` good times baby!

Weddings are so fun! Because I get to dress up too! Heh heh!

Happy 22nd Aju.

2008-12-24T16:45:00.005+08:00

After some last minute confirmation, the whole bunch of us got our lazy bums over to East Coast for Aju's 22nd.

Everything only fell in place and the fire got burning at around 9pm. For the few hours before that, we were just bathing in the sun and playing with the sand. After Aju buildup a mountain in hopes of creating a sandcastle, I realised that there were actual tools for that. Not just the plain ol' bucket and spade. Haha. We got punk'ed.

Celebration went on to midnight but I was gone by 10. Blame the stickyness of jumping and running around mimicking Phoebe. Hahaha. Good ol' times woman. Good ol' times.

There's so many more photos I'd like to publish but blogger's not cooperating :(

(Laughter's the best medicine)

Syle me Famous

2008-12-23T13:58:00.004+08:00

I've watched only 3 episodes of Style Her Famous and am loving it!

I think I am for one, the type of person who can see myself getting all dolled up with heels and pretty tops or dresses but never put it to reality. Haha. Time to step out of that, ey?

EAST COAST TODAY! Rain rain go away little Raudhah wants to play.

Heh heh heh.

HAPPY 22nd NAZURAH A.HAMID!!

I LOVE YOU!

Honestly, you gotta stop burping like that. Hahaha. Yes I am doing this while you're getting changed next to meee. *spank*

You are the apple of my eye.

2008-12-22T15:58:00.001+08:00

It won't be long before I get you by my side

And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you

Tell you what's been on my mind

I miss you much.

Utter disappointment.

2008-12-22T15:07:00.002+08:00

Before I start on my project, I think there is an important need for me to express myself over last night's AFF Cup.

I was pretty confident Singapore will get into the finals and was telling Hilmi we'll get the tickets and be part of the Kallang Wave when it happens. But noooooo. They chose to lose last night.

A.l.a.m S.h.a.h's performance yesterday was very very disappointing. He kept giving easy balls for I don't know what reasons or he kicked it to the crowd instead of aiming it into the net. SIIGGGHHHHH. 7 times he tried, 7 times he missed. Maybe the bleach got into his head and impaired his decisions to score. Heh.

The opposing team played like #@$* please. So rowdy and unprofessional. Stupid. But luck clearly was on their side especially at 76 minutes where some dude scored.

Siiiggghhh. There goes my chance to cheer on for you, team Sg. There goes your title. Bye Bye defending champs. Better luck next year.

:(

2008-12-22T12:40:00.002+08:00

Holidays suck because they make me the laziest person on Earth and I hate it. Haha. Actually no reason for me to be blaming the holidays. Heh.

I love the lights down Orchard and the Christmas carols at almost every other place and street in town. And thanks to my stupidity, I left Elise at home. Saturday was the best day to shop. Ever. I told myself to curb my spending and not spend on anything but food.

I managed to get 3 belts at a steal and told Hilmi to slap me if I want to spend again after that. Walked on to Cotton on and bought 2 pumps at $25. Hahaha. Nope no slaps. Because he was equally as happy as I was. Hahaha. And walked on down to Sasa and purchased my blusher, which came with a discount and free eye shadow. Hahaha. Every buy took me by surprise. SHIOK OR WHAT!

And the night was spent laughing our hearts out at Courts with Hilmi's family. Good times. Good times.

New Year's coming. Now now where shall we welcome 2009? *GASPS* Am I actually planning where to go for new year??? Hahahaha.

Sometimes, it disappoints me to be given all the freedom I want and make my own decisions because I miss being daddy's girl. But it also made me realise that I have to stop being dependent on dad to shape me. It's time I take control over my own life.

I am such a baby. Haha. I will still always be someone's baby...

EE SO CHEESY.

Hehehehehe.

March 2009 is going to dig a deepppppp hole in my pocket. Can pengsan! Birthdays lah, holiday lah, Jason Mraz lah. Hahaha.

2008-12-20T22:25:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. Holidays just suck my mood to blog away because I am LLAAZZZYYYY. Hhaha. But here's what's been happening.

And of course, more of Hilmi darling + family (both his and mine). Oh weddings are so fun!! :D

2008-12-18T09:42:00.002+08:00

TEN ARE YOUS

1. Are you single?` NOPE! =D

2. Are you happy?` Very.

3. Are you bored?` urm.. then why am I doing this?

4. Are you fair?` Fair as in skin colour fair, I don't think so. Fair as in equality fair, yup! Haha

5. Are you Italian?` Haha I wish.

6. Are you intelligent?` I hope so.

7. Are you honest?` More often than not.

8. Are you nice?` Very! Haha.

9. Are you Irish?` Tsk.

10. Are you Asian?` Yup but without the slit eyes. HAHAHA.

TEN FACTS

1. Full Name?` Siti Sexy Raudhah Bte Mohamed Amin

2. Nicknames?` Siti, beruang (HAHA Stupid primary school friends), girl(only my parents)...

3. Birth place?` Sunny Island.

4. Hair colour?` Black.

5. Natural hair style?` Crazy curls

6. Eye colour?` Dark brown.

7. Birthday?` 4th November 1989

8. Mood?` EXCITED! Lotsa catching up with primary school friends and tomorrow's FRIDAY! Here I come Mr. Policeman!

9. Favorite color?` White, dark brown.

10. One place you'd like to visit?` Europe.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

1. Have you ever been in love?` Still am.

2. Do you believe in love at first sight?` Haha that kinda got me attached.

3. Do you currently have a crush?` Man Utd's Rafael. American Pie's Stiffler. Ryan Reynolds. OH SO HOT!

4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally?` One too many.

5. Have you ever broken someone's heart?` I try not to :)

6. Have you ever had your heart broken?` HA.

7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them ?` Ah huh

8. Are you afraid of commitment?` Nope! What's there to be afraid of?

9. Who was the last person you hugged?` My grandma.

10. Who was the last person you said I love you to?` Hilmi darling.

TEN THIS OR THAT

1. Love or lust?` L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O VE

2. Hard liquor or beer?` TAK HALAL!

3. Cats or dogs?` Birds.

4. A few best friends or any regular friends?` Best friends are great :)

5. Creamy or Crunchy?` Crunchy.

6. Pencil or Pen` Pen ah. Pencil zaman primary school seh. Haha.

7. Wild night out or romantic night in?` Depends lah. With gfs of course wild night out right! With the boyfriend, if he can get romantic good enough already. Hahaha.

8. Money or Happiness?` Happiness over money, anytime.

9. Night or day?` I really like both.

10. IM or phone?` Phone.

TEN HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?` Imma good girl. No sneak outs!

2. Seen a polar bear?` Singapore Zoo!

3. Done something you regret?` Never had enough time to make it up to my Mama :'(

4. Bungee jumped?` WAS SO CLOSE TO THIS! URGH!

5. Eaten food that fell on the floor?` EEEEE. WHO SO DISGUSTING!

6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?` Nope.

7. Been caught naked?` HAHAHAHA. Not really nekkid. But Ive seen someone nekkid by accident. HAHAHA.

8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back?` I don't take back what I threw.

9. Cried because you lost a pet?` :( My birdie num-num aka Mimi. Sigh.

10. Wanted to disappear?` Before, yes. But naww. No point running away from things.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER

1. Smile or eyes?` Eyes.

2. Light or dark hair?` Dark.

3. Hugs or kisses?` Hugs makes everyone feel loved.

4. Shorter or taller?` Taller.

5. Intelligence or attraction?` Hurm. A balance of both?

6. Topman or Zara?` Zara lah! Topman might as well I go esplanade and pick out my partner from there!

7. Funny or serious?` Balance of both again.

8. Older or Younger?` Older.

9. Outgoing or quiet?` I need someone crazy like me.

10. Sweet or Bad?` I like bad boys too ;) HAHA. BALANCE! MUST BALANCE!

TEN HAVE YOUS

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd?` Yup on stage summore!

2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour?` 12 hours was my record. Haha.

3. Ever tried walking on your hands?` ah huh! I managed to okay!

4. Ever been to a rock concert?` im a loser who sits at home.

5. Ever been on a cheerleading team?` LOL.

6. Ever been on a dance team?` ROFL. I did not even go for auditions! HAHA

7. Ever been on a sports team?` YUPP. Volleyball in pri school.

8. Ever been in a drama play/production?` I was also in drama in primary school. HAHA. Yes.

9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz or Bentley?` I'd rather have an Evo or Ferrari.

10. Ever been in a rap video?` I read it as 'rape video' initially. HAHAHA. Nope!

TEN... LASTS

1. Last phone call you made?` My Romeo -8.49am.

2. Last person you hugged?` Grandma

3. Last person you hung out with?` Family at Grandma's :D

4. Last time you worked?` 28 November 2008.

5. Last person you talked to?` My Romeo <3

6. Last person you IM'd?` ...

7. Last person you texted?` Lee Wei. To have a safe trip in Taiwan.

8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with?` My Romeo.. Let's see... OH! Quarantine!

9. Last person/thing you missed?` ALOT OF THINGS. My Mama tops the list :((

10. Last website visited?` http://shewants-herchoco.blogspot.com/ Not only her choco, your burger, your drinks, your fries all she want!

TEN PEOPLE TO DO THIS

If you count to 10 and you're still here, then do this shizz. Haha.

Port Dickson-KL 2008.

2008-12-16T12:49:00.008+08:00

Day One

I was up and out of the house at 7am. Grandpops picked me up and off we were to Johor to meet up with Car #2! Pit stop was at Hamid Corner where we had breakfast. Had Kelly switched to my car and all the oldies were in Abah's car. Hahaha!

Pit stop #2 was at some place which sold really delicious ice cream (and it came with a heavy price tag!) Grandpops hand his car keys over to me and woot woot! Here I am! My first road trip and my first drive in Malaysia!

Driving in Malaysia is nothing like in Singapore. Speed limit was 110km/h and people there drive like they own the road! Anyhow cutting into people's lane and I did come across a road bully! Stupid truck driver! There were only 2 cars and I was the second car. This stupid lorry cut me in and came very close to my uncle. Everyone was pretty pissed about it but there was nothing much we could do about it. He only back off when I sped up and did not give him any chance to cut in (Cheh chehhh! It's not that scary lah actually at that time coz everyone was like "Go infront go infront! Bloody lorry!")

I was very excited when I had to stop and give way to the whole family of cows! Hahahah! I don't know.. Cheap thrills ah. Haha. Nothing like that in this sunny island.

We only reached the house in Port Dickson at around 1pm. Had a little break and lazed around in the condo. Everyone else was shagged but I was still on my feet, going around with Elise. The view there was fantastic. Sunrise and sunset was just breathtaking!

There is a small lake and swamp right behind the condo which is also the home to 2 alligators, fishes and monkeys. Sadly, I only saw 1 alligator and dear Elise wasn't with me at that time.

The night was spent at some shopping mall and the slow ride along the roads.

We had movies for the 3 nights there and on Day One, we had Made of Honor. Reminds me alot of My Best Friend's Wedding. I think directors need more imagination and originality!

Day Two

Everyone was pretty excited for this trip because of today. We went to KL! We strike out plans to stay in KL for one night and used the money on shopping instead. Besides, it was only a 45 minute drive from Port Dickson so it was as good as driving to Orchard :)

We got lost along the highway and proceed on to some place further up. Haha. Made a quick u-turn and ta-daaa! Mid Valley Shopping Centre here we come! My cousins and I wished we had discovered Factory Outlet Store way earlier when we were left on our own! Wasted! We were down to the last 30 minutes to complete shopping there! Urgghhh! They should have this in Singapore lah!

The shopping mall had Santa and fake snow! Cool or what!

There was a night market at Port Dickson and we had a stopover for the aunts to get scarfs and for us ladies to just.. Browse around. Haha.

We had our go-kart session at 10pm. Lol. My ride had some problems and in the middle of my first lap, I had to change to another go-kart. This thing always happens to me! Every single time! Confirm got problem with the kart! Wah liao! Suay or what!

Movie of the Night was My Best Friend's Girl. Apparently Aunty Na did not know of the uncensored parts and I had to fastforward at all the nekkid scenes. Hahhahahaha. This was very very hilarious because only we girls were watching the movie. And whenever the guys came over to the kitchen and had a view of the tv, I had to get my thumb ready on "FF". Hahahahaha.

Day Three

KL AGAIN! YAY! This time, we headed to KLCC! =DDD This was even more boring! Second level was all the high-end stuff and us girls happily walked in to Ferragamo and LV and admired the aunts as they shopped. Even the toilets were Premier Toilets! Hahaha!

Having to have the Twin Towers captured is like having to capture the perfect sunset! So tough lah! And in the end, our own snapshot was better than the one Aunty Na caught. Boo!

Movie of the Night was Kabbi Kushie Kabie Gham. Hahahahahah! We wanted to catch the movie since Day One but had difficulty looking for the DVD. Lol. Everytime we watch this movie, someone will confirm cry! Hhahaha!

Day Four

Boo time to go home. Pit stop again at JB and did some last minute shopping. OH! On the way to JB, there were a group of monkeys in the middle of the lane and we panicked! They only moved after given a lour horn. Poor monkeys. One of their brothers was dead in the second lane and I think they wanted to bring him over or what. So sad I tell you :(

Jams are always a killer! And to make things worst, Aunty Na had an urgent call for the toilet. Hahahaha.

Throughout my journey in Malaysia, I wondered how they manage to live in such poor conditions. Poor lighting, poor water quality, poor housing conditions. Dead cats and monkeys all on the road. Tsk tsk. And their houses... sigh. I am very thankful to be in Singapore.

And driving there made me gain alot of confidence. The moment we were in Singapore, I had a sudden fear to drive again. But when I drove from Yishun to home, I realised.. Hey! I can do it, finally! No more fear no nothing! =D The worst drivers I could ever see on the road are no longer here! :)

[Port Dickson-KL `08 ]

Port Dickson `08

2008-12-16T12:46:00.002+08:00

I AM BACKKK! =DDDDDD

The holiday trip was an average one. I was a little disappointed with shopping because there was nothing much. I thought I would shop till I drop but nope! :((

But hey hey! This lil driver was crusing at 140km/h along the highway to Port Dickson! Hahahaha! Take that suckers! And trust me since it was a convoy, I was a little slow still. My aunts text me to speed up. Haha! Going fast and furious like that is only possible in Malaysia because MALAYSIA BOLEH!

Now here goes my Port Dickson-KL `08 :)

Alyaa can't peace.

2008-12-11T18:27:00.002+08:00

My little sweetheart can't get her "peace" sign right. Hahaha. We had a good time teaching her how to peace it right but lil Alyaa wants to stay original! Hahaha!

I'll be gone for 4 days okay.

Bros, we'll meet when Khai gets his plans right.

Cherie, Ginger and Aisyah, Thursday okayyy.

My darling Hilmi... 2 weeks again without you :( AWOL AH YANG! khekhehke :P
You kents ah! I'll see you next Saturday :'(

It really feels weird having to travel and be so free to do what I want. I miss you Mama :'(

Update on the outdated.

2008-12-11T18:09:00.004+08:00

Report is submitted and it feels like I just completed my 3-year course already! Haahaa!

The moment I got my hands on my Passport, I got so damn excited! But here's the highlight. I'm leaving for Port Dickson and thereafter, KL at around 6.30am tomorrow morning but I've yet to pack my bag, get updated plans from my aunts and exchange money. Ha ha ha!

I bet Elise is excited to go on her first holiday too! HAHAHA!

Let's rewind a little here shall we. Hilmi and I had our first (i used virgin but it comes to be very inappropriate in the same sentence as Hilmi and I. Haha) trip to Mt. Faber. We drove in and drove back out. I was so disappointed :( Very in fact. The boys said there was nothing there and we left off for East Coast.

Satay uncle was nice enough to give us extra ketupat and additional 5 sticks FOC. And Joel was nice enough to pursuade for a student offer in the first place. Hahaha. I pity the pakcik eh. But nevermind, we got more than what we asked for! Lol.

YELLOW SHIRT + FADED BLUE JEANS

Hari Raya Haji was normal. I think after all the discussion I had with the bros, I want to make a trip down to the mosque next year to witness the sacrifice of the goats. Smelly and stinky but just to quench my curiosity. Heh.

Kids, say hello to the new Santa. He lacks red and a buckle down his waist.

It's okay Papa. I still love you. You still my favourite man in the whole wide world despite your degil-ness to shave that fur off!

Halo

2008-12-09T21:41:00.001+08:00

It's like I've been awakened 
Every rule I had you breakin' 
It's the risk that I'm takin' 
I ain't never gonna shut you out

2008-12-09T19:21:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was something I never foresee happening ever in my relationship. Huge sigghhh.

More often than not, girls always want to hear what WE want to hear. So if I ask whether I'm fat, of course I'm expecting a no.

I stopped myself yesterday when I realised what I was expecting to hear is not what I WANT to hear. It hurts. It really hurts and disappoint me at one point. But I decided to go with my instincts and let it go. Just let it go.

I am amazed at the amount of trust I have in you. And I am amazed at my decision to just let.it.go..
Please don't ever let me regret my own decision. I love you.

I try and learn.

2008-12-07T10:41:00.003+08:00

There will be times where I would end up hating myself over certain situations. There will be times where I wondered why I allowed for it to happen. And there are times where I wondered if you are aware of how I feel. The many times where I thought you did not understand me. I was always proven wrong on each occasion.

Many times, you take me in by surprise. Comforting me when I least expect you to. Talking things through when I was already preparing for a huge argument.

It is a bad habit of mine to naturally just hide my feelings. But you. You have been more than amazing to read me and just see through it all. You swayed me with your words and made me even more comfortable and relaxed when I'm with you.

My sweetheart, you've always stood by me when I need you regardless of when or where. You have always been the prominent figure in my life and...

I love you

More updates.

2008-12-06T09:50:00.002+08:00

Aren't the photos (and I) fantastic?? That is Marina Barrage for you. Superb scene. There's more to that at the first floor but we were at the second floor. Haha. Soon ah soon. I want to make a trip there again. I fell in love with the place so much! And that was Sabi's 20th Birthday!

For some reason, my camera was not able to catch the beautiful night scene :(( Must figure a way out man! Can't keep relying on auto functions. Heh.

Alright I gotta get to learning! Mt. Faber tonight! No chance to miss out on the beautiful lights! Hehehehe.

Finally you're back sweetheart. Been a looonngggg week!

So what.

2008-12-03T21:20:00.002+08:00

I am falling in love so much with Wordpress I think I'll make a move pretty soon. Haha.

I never knew Rafael Da Silva had a twin; Fabio. And I think both of them are now in Man Utd right? Hehehehehe. He looks so cute on screen! I don't know what happened in this photo though. Okay what. It's the hair ah I think that makes him cute. Haha. I only discovered this 18 year old hottie at the last match with I forget who but Man Utd scored 1-0 k! GOOD JOB!

My passport better be renewed by this week man. Otherwise, I'll get screwed by the aunts and I'll screw my whole shopping trip up. Tsk tsk tsk. Spendthrift spendthrift.

Need.to.save.for.March.

Happy Birthday Ravy!

2008-12-03T21:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 21ST RAVAN!

Heh heh heh. Just now was just a sneak peek to your big day! But the presents are complete eh! Hahahaa. We hope you enjoyed yourself dear Ravan :) Have a Happy Birthday.

Fly by.

2008-12-02T08:35:00.002+08:00

My night has yet to end even though it is already 8.36am on a Tuesday morning! :)

Was up the whole night because my aunts were sharing their life stories and neither me nor kelly could get to sleep. That's the thing with sleepovers. Never sleep in the same room as the aunts! Hahaha. We were all up and fully fresh by 4am getting ready to zoom off.

There she goes, my confidante :( One by one I'm losing people to confide in. Nyeh. Webcam and MSN better do the trick! Toronto is a whopping 20 hours away from sunny Singapore! Heh heh heh. If I am lucky, I might get my pretty butt there in 09.

I absent-mindedly hand over my Elise to the gang for Kenneth's celebration. Sorry I can't be there dude! I sent my rep. already what! Hahaha. Yup so no photos of airport boo-hoo.

Why did I always enter useless schools which took us nowhere? Haha. While we were at the airport, TPSS's choir I belive was on their way to Tokyo. Shiok or what! Nevermind my dreams to travel the world is on it's way, starting with Tioman. hahahahaha!

It is only Tuesday and I'm feeling the agony of missing you already. ONLY TUESDAY!? HONESTLY!!?

Okay ah time to hit the bed.

Oh oh oh!

I managed to concentrate at my first lecture man! Woo hoo congratulations ah woman! Hahaha. Time is school is short man. 2 weeks of school, 2 weeks break, 3 weeks of school and a week of exam and we're done by 13 February 2009. MARK THAT DOWN!

I think I have changed out of the person whom I was in some ways. And I think this change is for the better :)

Night/Morning! :)))

Life lesson.

2008-12-01T10:46:00.001+08:00

" A wrestling match. Yes you could describe live that way.

So which side wins, I ask.

Love wins. Love always wins "

Mitch Albom

Happy Birthday Sabi!

2008-11-30T11:30:00.003+08:00

Surprise birthday party for dear Sabi went great! The location was great! Especially wonderful since we managed to get a glimpse of sunset when we arrived. Carpark was a problem though. Doesn't make sense to have a small carpark for the gazillion people touring the place.

While you readers are at this, say hello to the new nerdy Raudhah! WHHEEEEEE!

Closed.

2008-11-28T23:42:00.004+08:00

Finally. Finally. I have been waiting for this moment to come. 28 November 2008 shall be a historical day. Hahaha.

Enough with affdavits and the sudden fear upon hearing my name being called. Enough with clients and emails. Enough with boxes and tons of files on my desk. Enough with everything!

Now, time to move over and let the party people step in! Heh heh heh. It is always good to try out something new with the group.

BAIK AH GANG!

End of work.

2008-11-27T16:13:00.001+08:00

And that, fellow readers... is all of our (Lee Wei and I) hardwork throughout this 12 weeks.

We deserve a huge pay check.

Cute!

2008-11-27T12:39:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHA! I love my gmail now for this! Lololol. That is very cute! It reminds me of someone special though. Hehehehehehehe! Okay stop being evil!

And guess what! I've got my wordpress account up and running! I'll slowly move over and officialy on 1 January 2009. Better eh start afresh. Blogger's still gonna be here don't worry :)

Double guess what! TOMORROW IS OUR LAST DAY! YAYYYY!

One step at a time.

2008-11-23T21:28:00.002+08:00

Depression depression depression. Now it hit me. Now I'm diagnosed with it.

I know its not good for me neither is it good for Mama's soul. Thank you everyone for trying to help me get over it. But I think it is something I need to do on my own, slowly, one step at a time.

I myself don't know what I'm depressed about. Each time I think of Mama, I start to cry. I just don't know why. I was over it. At least I thought I was, after the talk with Hilmi. And each time I think of Mama, it'll be back to the time where she's dying or the days before that. And our late night talks which I miss so much. The times where I accompanied her in the wee hours of the morning to eat.

I am no longer relaxed. I am too tensed up. Why why why. Each time I cry myself badly, I'd think okay thats it. That was all of it left. No more crying no more sadness. But no. It's still in me.

I want to let go. I have to. I just don't know how. I thought crying it all out would work but nope. I was wrong. It led on to a chain of crying spells on me. I thought work could distract me. Again, I was wrong.

I need the beach. Yes. That has always been my source of release. The beach. Yes. And more faith. Yup. More faith :)

Please dear God, help me pull through all this. I do not like it. I want to get over it. I want to be my normal self again :( Neither do I want Mama to suffer because of me.

Sigghhhhhhh.

Somehow.

2008-11-22T23:02:00.006+08:00

Somehow, each Saturday makes me forget all the unhappiness I had. All the angst in me, gone like that :D

I always wish our conversations will never end. Soon. Soon I'll have all that I want. Soon, I'll have more of you honey. POP about less than 2 months away. Wheeee!

I finally had my new pair of specs done. WOO HOO! I wanted to have frameless but went for a full framed pair instead. nerd nerd nerd. I like it! Heheehehe. The best part is, it'll be ready by tomorrow! HEHEHEH!

The world will be a better place to live in if everyone has a little bit more patience :)

And I know I'm abit late at this but Tuesdays with Morrie is so good. I should have let Mama read it back then. Oh well. It's okay Raudhah.

Honestly, I have never been more excited for school term to start. Ever. Well I am always excited for school but not THIS excited. Hehehehe. Yong Tau Foo's aunty going to be rich again!

And how rude of me not to share what I've gotten for my birthday. Heh heh heh. Enjoy!

And of course, the best present of all from dearest daddy, my Elise :DDDD

THANK YOU AGAIN, EVERYONE!!

I don't know why.

2008-11-22T16:04:00.002+08:00

I don't understand why certain things happen. And I especially don't understand why it always happen to me. I think change is good sometimes.

I've been having a splitting headache since yesterday and it has yet to go away. So painful even panadol did not make my day this time :(

Sigh. Why oh why.

2008-11-21T21:57:00.003+08:00

It felt weird walking into with the office with no fear. Haha. Today felt like a public holiday at my firm. ooooh but we were most productive when no one wants to check on us. Nyehh.

Money money money. I'm losing my ability to save it all up to one big mountain. But I need to!! So many happening things in Marchhhh! Which is only 4 months away!

But woot! I am ever so excited for our trip, dear poly mates. WOOHOO!

Levis is offering $50 off their pair of jeans (worth $100 or more) when you bring your old jeans for an exchange. Good eh! Go go hurry down to the nearest Levis store! Good deal you know!

And everywhere the market is crashing. Except that I don't see much panic in Singapore man. People still shopping like there's no tomorrow. Very very typical.

Meanwhile, I need to learn how to thread in water!

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND ALL!

Moving.

2008-11-20T19:55:00.000+08:00

I have been so tempted to move to Wordpress because there are just many times that I would type and delete what I want to say.

Haha. I don't need my personal life to be a topic for gossip. Then don't have a blog you say? Then write where! Diary! Move on with life suckers. Make use of technology! Hahahaha.

I think that explains the lack of updates as well. Too much personal stuff to share but oooooh! I just have to zip it! Heh.

Till then, have a good night!

Simple.

2008-11-20T19:10:00.002+08:00

After much talking with dear Lee Wei in the office (Well, I've been talking to him every single day for 3 months straight) I realised alot of things about myself.

I realised that I am pretty much a simple person with simple expectations. I think as long as I am pleased and I think you're capable of handling me, I'm willing to put up with whatever nonsense you have (as long as it's still within my patience limit).

So dear friends who always wonder why I put up with nonsense from people, it's because I have a very high limit for patience and ...

I'm just a nice person to begin with.

HA HA HA.

2008-11-20T16:13:00.002+08:00

6 more days to the end of SIP.

Today is a historical day.

Lee Wei finally got his iPod after years of painful wait. Haha.

Mark that down, everybody!

HAHHA.

Of patience and irony.

2008-11-17T20:47:00.002+08:00

Patience patience patience. Understand understand understand. SIGHHHHHH

And just what is up with Beyonce yo? Sasha Fierce?

She's becoming a minah man. You know how they love to call themselves "Adik Kechik" or "Nana Fierce"

HAHAHAHAHAH!

Why Beyonce whhyyyyyyy??? Honestly. WHY!? :((

Woooottt! I can't wait for Langkawi man! Par-tay me lovelies!

But first, let's get down to business. A week more to school. WOOHOOOO! And this 3.2 class confirm cannot study class! Haha. Havoc man! But again, woohoooo everyone's back together! haha!

You can tell I've got nothing to update about right?? Haha. Good night ah!

Set.

2008-11-16T21:25:00.003+08:00

My mind is more or less set on that.

I really regret not going into a JC but well, too late. I don't regret coming to Poly though :) Prolly coz of the ties I've had bonds with (MY DARLING GANG) and Mr. Hilmi himself. HAHAHA.

Yes back to poly education. Poly has served me well. Really well; exposing myself to working life and the real situations but we all have to realise that no matter what, we'll still be at a disadvantage when it comes to pursuing further education. It's either you're in or you're out *Heidi Klum's way*

If you don't make it to GPA >3 then kiss University good bye. Well at least that's how I see it.

It's now very much comforting knowing what I want and where I will be in future :)

I never knew I was the type of person who would rely on great support from my loved ones. I've always thought I can make it on my own all I need is someone to listen to what I want to do and tell me I'm on the right track. Haha more often than not, it's always been my parents. It still is, alongside Hilmi & a few other close friends. Thanks alot everyone :D

Urgh it's Monday tomorrow. 1 more week to school hooraayyy!

I miss my kental tshirt and jeans days. My kental slippers and baggy pants days. I miss i miss i miss! Hehehehe! Shiokk!

Good night everyone!

Thanks again Aju, for your wonderfully done skin! Haha.

2008-11-16T14:58:00.003+08:00

So my weekend was not easy at all.

I spent the entire weekend thinking of my next step after Poly. Hoho. Let's see where I land :)

2 more weeks to the end of SIP and 3 more months to the end of school. WOO freaking HOO!

It's like catching lightening

The chances of finding,

someone like you

It's one in a million

The chances of feeling the way we do

Heidi

2008-11-14T09:32:00.000+08:00

I have a mad crazy obsession with this woman. This Superwoman.

Moron

2008-11-13T22:25:00.001+08:00

Everyone needs a little more lesson on RESPECT.

Looks can be deceiving

2008-11-13T15:51:00.003+08:00

I feel very strongly against inhuman fathers who abuse their children. Even if the kid is unwanted, just leave the home and go lead a life with someone else that has the same views as you. What’s the point of abusing your own flesh and blood?

If you already have a temper prior to marriage (woman, I do not see why you should marry such people. Open your eyes please.), then you need lotsa help my man. You do not need to spill your anger over to your wife or children. So you think beating people and little children is fun?

And ladies, it makes no sense at all for you to be abusing your child. That thing you are beating used to be in you for 9 whole months! Why did you not beat yourself then? Why did you even put up with that 9 long months when you could be out partying?

Which leads to the importance of family planning. DO NOT HAVE BABIES IF YOU ARE ABUSIVE OR HATE KIDS. Guys do not accidentally spill yourselves into the woman. Ladies, please shut your hole if you do not want children and prefer to club your ass out all night.

Working with such cases made me even more motivated to do a better job to protect the poor kid. Such kids are being beaten up for issues they don’t even understand.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD!!!

PLEASE STOP ABUSING POOR INNOCENT CHILDREN.

2008-11-13T10:14:00.001+08:00

Headaches. Puffy eyes. Sadness. Pain. Agony. Regret. Release.

That sums up my Wednesday.

:(

I miss you Mama.

In with the old.

2008-11-11T20:45:00.001+08:00

I really really want my Nokia 7390 back :(

Sigh. I think I'm just going to get it back.

You stupid fella who stole my phone! :(

Please ayannnggggggg!

We live and we learn.

2008-11-10T20:07:00.003+08:00

Sunday was a blessing which I truly treasure. The best day of my life since 24th August. I'm thankful that things are finally beginning to pick up in my life and thankful for the people I'm with.

At times, I do too feel that I will be losing myself if I continue harping on the past. And that just at anytime, I would just totally breakdown. It's the support that I receive from my loved ones; family, boyfriend, wonderful friends, that keeps me going. Thank you each and everyone of you for your endless support and encouragement :)

I wish everyday was like yesterday :)

I love you sayang.

Birthday with My Love :)

2008-11-08T10:40:00.005+08:00

Dear boyfriend cracked his head just to think of a plan for that very special Saturday. Hahaha. Good attempt by him, knowing that he's not the person to do all that and Hilmi + surprises is a total mismatch :P

I went back home to change out of my baju kurung and jeng jeng jeng! Surprise #1 was by birthday cake! Hehehe. Durian oi! Shiok or shiok you tell me!

Kak Ena sew this for me from a scratch! Thanks alot Kak Ena! :D

He had plans for us to go to Vivo. Can you believe it? After half a year together, we have not been there together! Not once! Hahaha.

HSM3 WAS FANTASTIC! I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIINNN!!!!

Surprise surprise! The gorgeous Christmas tree is up already! It's still more than a month away from Christmas but there's been so much hype about it!

Earle Swensens is overloaded with steak! They don't have much variety in their menu and that bored me out a little. Their wedges are pretty good though! And the meal is never complete without our Nutty Ice Cream :D

Thank you very much sweetheart for your efforts and the day out :)

You ma man and wa banyak lup sama lu ah!

HAPPY ANNI KENTS! :DD

Love is Blind, Marriage Opens Your Eyes (by Lee Wei)

2008-11-07T12:37:00.010+08:00

The above only relates to the title. This is still MY POST. Haha.

My entries now are making "guest appearances". I do not have the time or I would be too tired to update or I would be busy hogging the tv.

So many pending events to upload! Let me do a quick and brief one.

01 - 02 Nov 2008

Mr Ali finally tied the knot to Ms. Lily Anna on Saturday, 1st Nov 2008. Nikah was pretty simple and boring because dear partner in crime had school to attend. We had more fun goofing around on Sunday with the Bride & Groom themselves. What not with endless crazy photos! Highlight of the day was Karakoke of course! For the first time ever, I actually sang! (not by myself though) We had so much fun, it continued till 8.30pm over at Dadi's house!

That was the last chapter and the book is completed. All of Mama's siblings are finally married. The wedding baton has been passed over to my cousins now with Kakak starting the relay. Haha.

04 Nov 2008

Happy Birthday to Me! I was already stuck at work with so much work. Yes my generous firm decided to drop me with a huge gift as well. Heh heh.

My dear poly sweethearts planned a surprise for me and was well equipped with a decoy. Hahah. But Papa gave it away that very morning :( I would have been extremely surprised otherwise. Haha.

The moment I stepped into my house, for that split second I forgot that my friends were in my house, awaiting for my arrival. Hahaha. And then I saw Mr. Khai D himself! Lololol. And of course, I got yet another Guess item. Hehehehehe. Baik ah gang! Make it a tradition k? Lololol. I'm kidding!

The messages on the board were touching and I really took my time reading it one by one after they left. I am especially grateful for the wonderful friends I have. Friends who stood by me even through my toughest time and ensured that everything was well taken care off :)

My family was there too :) Thank you Papa, Abang and Adik for bringing Nani Dada and ALYAA along! Hehe. You still owe me my present though!

Everything felt so perfect for that one night. My night ended with a bang after the long tiring day I had at work :)

Thank you again everyone! :D

I LOVE YOU ALL AH!

& I'm still not done with my birthday post okay! I'll update at home later on the one other celebration I had. Hehehehe! :)

2008-11-01T11:19:00.005+08:00

I adopted a new robot as of yesterday and I have been in love with it eversince :)

The colours brought my attention to them, after their good reviews and steady photos. For such a cheap steal, Ellise captures pretty decent photos with 8.0 megapixels. Her navigations are pretty easy to use and I can still choose between using the manual or auto combination.

Ellise came with a 4GB memory card, screen and a mini tripod stand. She's sleek, sexy and manageable. Just what I need :)

I took her out for a test run today at the office. Lee Wei and I made an hourly journal of our lives in the office (well almost).

0900 hours

We filled our mugs with tea & hot chocolate to start our day and immediately exposed Elise out in daylight :) Thereafter, we were called to settle some cases in preparation for a hearing for our WonderWoman.

1000 hours

After all the fuss, we took a chill pill and laid back for awhile. Yes yes we know how messy our table is! But it can't be helped! We would be drowning in the piles of paper if it weren't for our daily clean-up before we leave.

1045 hours

I got called to Court and had to leave immediately. Lee Wei was stuck all along with his Chinese Tea and Elise. Boy didn't you put my Elise to good use! Haha :)

1300 hours

We bumped into Alia!

Lunch was with the usual people; Lee Wei, Ee Ting & occasionally Lance :)

I gave Elise a break after lunch. Pretty decent, no?

****************************************

100 days come and go like a breeze. I've stopped wishing you were here and am slowly trying to move on. I'll pick up whatever comes my way and try to resolve situations like how you would handle it. I love you Ma.

Saving the best for the last

2008-10-30T22:32:00.003+08:00

My weekend was fantabulous all thanks to this wonderful bunch of new friends/accquaitances :)

My Raya ended with a blast, most definately!

Many thanks to Nisa for the photos! :))

2008-10-28T17:21:00.002+08:00

So I'll be nice and share my desktop with Lee Wei. Half for me and half for him. Hehehehe.

RYAN REYNOLDS SO SEXXAYYYYY!

Sizzlin'

2008-10-28T17:11:00.001+08:00

Aaaaah. One of God's (and the gym's) finest creations. Tsk tsk tsk. I can't stop looking at him. Which is why work stops at 5.10pm for me today.

Piss off.

2008-10-24T19:55:00.004+08:00

Shit man I hate this. I hate talking things through with others and then acting based on what they say. I hate acting on things that should not even be brought up.

I know I'm capable of handling the situation smoothly. I know it. I have been doing it well so far. Why am I blowing my top now? Why do I keep losing my cool? Why?

Sigh. Maybe I'm beginning to realise I've had enough.

Since you went away.

2008-10-24T09:37:00.002+08:00

Yes, I’m still counting the days. 3 months now. I still feel your presence at home though. Fantastic ey? I’ve got the same old words I’ve been repeating for the past months. Nothing new to update in our lives Mama. We still miss you terribly and still do wish you were here.

As graduation comes closer, the guilt in me just increases. The night before you went, I told you to hang on. Hang on till you get the chance to see me graduate. But you refused to kiss me goodbye that night. I should have known. I thought that would add on to your strength to fight and stay on. Little did I know that I was actually making things difficult for you. I’m sorry Ma. I’m really very sorry. But what’s the use of apologising now, right? Sigh.

I’ve just been living my life in guilt and avoidance. I just can’t face scenes with hospitals and tubes and death yet. I guess I’ve yet to come to terms with yours. And the image of you and the tubes still haunts me. My mother. Just what you had gone through, I can only see and try to understand. But I can never feel the pain you’ve gone through. But I’m proud of you. So very proud. I’ve always told you this. You really are one tough chic Mama. I doubt anyone else facing this same sickness is even as strong as you are. Not even near. And you fought to your last beat. That’s something I’ll never forget. I love you Mama.

Al-fatehah.

BLack Sheep

2008-10-22T20:31:00.002+08:00

Extracted from Singapore Straits Times on 10 Aug 2008.
By Nur Dianah Suhaimi (ndianah@sph.com.sg)

"As a Malay, I've always been told that I have to work twice as hard to prove my worth. When I was younger, I always thought of myself as the quintessential Singaporean. Of my four late grandparents, two were Malay, one was Chinese and one was Indian. This, I concluded, makes me a mix of all the main races in the country.

But I later realised that it was not what goes into my blood that matters, but what my identity card says under 'Race'. Because my paternal grandfather was of Bugis origin, my IC says I'm Malay. I speak the language at home, learnt it in school, eat the food and a lesser Singaporean than those from other racial groups. I grew up clueless about the concept of national service because my father was never enlisted. He is Singaporean all right, born and bred here like the rest of the boys born in 1955. He is not handicapped in any way. He did well in school and participated in sports.

Unlike the rest, however, he entered university immediately after his A levels. He often told me that his schoolmates said he was 'lucky' because he was not called up for national service. 'What lucky?' he would tell them. 'Would you feel lucky if your country doesn't trust you?' So I learnt about the rigours of national service from my male cousins. They would describe in vivid detail their training regimes, the terrible food they! were served and the torture inflicted upon them - most of which, I would later realise, were exaggerations.

But one thing these stories had in common was that they all revolved around the Police Academy in Thomson. As I got older, it puzzled me why my Chinese friends constantly referred to NS as 'army'. In my family and among my Malay friends, being enlisted in the army was like hitting the jackpot.

The majority served in the police force because, as is known, the Government was not comfortable with Malay Muslims serving in the army. But there are more of them now.

Throughout my life, my father has always told me that as a Malay, I need to work twice as hard to prove my worth. He said people have the misconception that all Malays are inherently lazy. I was later to get the exact same advice from a Malay minister in office who is a family friend.

When I started work, I realised that the advice rang true, especially because I wear my religion on my head. My professionalism suddenly became an issue. One question I was asked at a job interview was whether I would be willing to enter a nightclub to chase a story. I answered: 'If it's part of the job, why not? And you can rest assured I won't be tempted to have fun.'

When I attend media events, before I can introduce myself, people assume I write for the Malay daily Berita Harian. A male Malay colleague in The Straits Times has the same problem, too. This makes me wonder if people also assume that all Chinese reporters are from Lianhe Zaobao and Indian reporters from Tamil Murasu.

People also question if I can do stories which require stake-outs in the sleazy lanes of Geylang. They say because of my tudung I will stick out like a sore thumb. So I changed into a baseball cap and a men's sports jacket - all borrowed from my husband - when I covered Geylang.

I do not want to be seen as different from the rest just because I dress differently. I want the same opportunities and the same job challenges. Beneath the tudung, I, too, have hair and a functioning brain. And if anything, I feel that my tudung has actually helped me secure some difficult interviews.

Newsmakers - of all races - tend to trust me more because I look guai (Hokkien for well-behaved) and thus, they feel, less likely to write critical stuff about them. Recently, I had a conversation with several colleagues about this essay. I told them I never thought of myself as being particularly patriotic. One Chinese colleague thought this was unfair. 'But you got to enjoy free eduation,' she said. Sure, for the entire 365 days I spent in Primary 1 in 1989. But my parents paid for my school and university fees for the next 15 years I was studying.

It seems that many Singaporeans do not know that Malays have stopped getting free education since 1990. If I remember clearly, the news made front-page news at that time. We went on to talk about the Singapore Government's belief that Malays here would never point a missile at their fellow Muslim neighbours in a war. I said if not for family ties, I would have no qualms about leaving the country. Someone then remarked that this is why Malays like myself are not trusted. But I answered that this lack of patriotism on my part comes from not being trusted, and for being treated like a potential traitor.

It is not just the NS issue. It is the frustration of explaining to non-Malays that I don't get special privileges from the Government. It is having to deal with those who question my professionalism because of my religion. It is having people assume, day after day, that you are lowly educated, lazy and poor. It is like being the least favourite child in a family. This child will try to win his parents' love only for so long.

After a while, he will just be engulfed by disappointment and bitterness. I also believe that it is this 'least favourite child' mentality which makes most Malays defensive and protective of their own kind.

Why do you think Malay families spent hundreds of dollars voting for two Malay boys in the Singapore Idol singing contest? And do you know that Malays who voted for other competitors were frowned upon by the community?

The same happens to me at work. When I write storieswhich put Malays in a bad light, I am labelled a traitor. A Malay reader once wrote to me to say: 'I thought a Malay journalist would have more empathy for these unfortunate people than a non-Malay journalist.' But such is the case when you are a Malay Singaporean. Your life is not just about you, as much as you want it to be. You are made to feel responsible for the rest of the pack and your actions affect them as well. If you trip, the entire community falls with you. But if you triumph, it is considered everyone's success.

When 12-year-old Natasha Nabila hit the headlines last year for her record PSLE aggregate of 294, I was among the thousands of Malays here who celebrated the news. I sent instant messages to my friends on Gmail and chatted excitedly with my Malay colleagues at work.

Suddenly a 12-year-old has become the symbol of hope for the communit and a message to the rest that Malays can do it too - and not just in singing competitions. And just like that, the 'least favourite child' in me feels a lot happier.

Each year, come Aug 9, my father, who never had the opportunity to do national service, dutifully hangs two flags at home - one on the front gate and the other by the side gate.

I wonder if putting up two flags is his way of making himself feel like a better-loved child of Singapore. "

Adults are boring

2008-10-22T10:44:00.002+08:00

The lack of updates is mainly due to the lack of interesting activities in my life. Haha.

DID YOU KNOW...

A peanut is not a nut? It's a lagume!

HAHAHA. I'm not even sure if that's a true fact! Lol.

I finally got my hands on Sean John's Unforgivable and am very in love with it :)) Superrr shiok! I think a Bvlgari perfume is up next. Haha. I should stop exploring my aunt's cupboard. Heh.

Dinner at Ravy's up next :DD Here comes the mass of games. Wheeeeee! And early morning soccer prior to that. Haha. No I won't be playing. I'll be burnt spectator for that morning (I hope).

5 MORE WEEKS TO END OF SIP WOOOTTTT! Shiok eh!

Working has made me realised that I do not wish to step in boring adult working world anytime soon. I'm going to pursue my education for as long as I can first. I dread coming to work because it's just too boring. I do not like office jobs. I need something more exciting. And I already have a clue on what I'm going to do. Hehehehe! Exciting!

Okay bye!

Nothing.

2008-10-19T01:36:00.002+08:00

Numb. I felt numb when I saw what I dislike so much. Just... numb.

I'm surprised myself. Now why wasn't I mad? Life has its ways around me I guess. Or maybe it's just me living in denial. But it is for the better, right? Sigh.

Audi was mine through Pasir Ris and Woodlands today. Heh heh heh. It is a good car. And as much as I hate to admit it, I think I handle auto cars better. But nope! I still refuse to allow Papa to get an auto car (if he ever wants to change the car).

Sigh. Good night world.

2008-10-18T09:43:00.004+08:00

Dinner at Khai's was picture-less and many had last minute arrangments :( Nevertheless, thank you Aunty for the great hospitality and food! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! (Khai, you can deliver this to your mom again. Haha)

And, the guest star only made his appearance for a short while. Why ah Khai?

Anyway, Samsung f480 seems to have caught my eye :) I still prefer Omnia over its sleek look though. But f480's features are not far off from Omnia's, in fact some even better. Less lag, better battery life and even comes with a cover! I don't like the small screen though. But because it's cheaper and comes in colours... I'm still hesitant about getting it with the next pay. Haiya waste money eh. Tsk.

I called up my grandma this morning to see how she was doing and we did some catching up. The shock came when we were about to hang up. I was telling her school will end soon for me.

Grandma: So you going to work after that?

R: No lah. I intend to pursue my education if I can.

Grandma: Huh?? Ah good lah. I thought you were going to work and get married.

R: HUH?!!?!?

Hhahahahahaha! Get married?! Please lah Dadi. Bilik sendiri cannot handle, nak get married! Madness! SIOW OR WHAT! That's one thing about old people I can never understand. Have boyfriend means nak kawin. Relek ah Dadi! No rush baby!

Speaking of which, I've been pretty stressed out on my future eh :( If cannot go Uni howwwwwwww :((

One step at a time. One step at a time.

HILMI'S BACCCKKKKKKKKKKK! and gone again :(

Finally.

2008-10-16T20:43:00.002+08:00

After 2 long weeks, I am finally able to get a glimpse of my botak policeman tomorrow. Haha. It is so funny that I feel it's as though we're meeting for the first time.

And it's only been 15 days! Actually 15 is alot eh please. And please let me emphasize on G L I M P S E of my dear Hilmi :( Because of some dumb race shizz our Saturday's burnt. So is our first Raya. BOOOO.

But it doesn't matter. Raya's already more or less ruined for me this year so it doesn't really matter to me :)

Meanwhile, LANNGGKAWWWIIII I AM SO FREAKING EXCITEEDD FOR YOUUUUUU!!!

Round the world in 2009.

2008-10-15T11:41:00.003+08:00

Hi I'm backkkk!

I have tons of work to do but why am I still here? Procrastination becomes everyone's best friend at some point in his life. Heh Heh.

I have been coughing and coughing and coughing I don't know why. So many possibilities! I did not complete my anti biotics? Urm. Actually, that's the only possibility. Hahaha.

Oh oh oh oh oh. So mannyyyy travel plans coming up yo!

My aunt's heading down to New Zealand end of November but I can't go because SIP suck. Haha. But most prolly I can join her in Canada in December!
March 09 to Langkawi with gang (I hope it happens)
April 09 to Hong Kong with Mira (would be more fun if Anisah goes because then I don't have to be stuck with Mira & her friends)
June 09 to Saudi Arabia with Papa's side. Insyallah :)
Germany with Aunty Na? She's not sure if she still wants to go BUT HELLO GERMANY!!!!

And SIA only gives me 1 free ticket per year. If only I can collect back all my previous unused tickets :( BOO!

Somehow, I think it's all gonna be alot of planning but no action.

HAHA

Ewah Ewah, Adik Sunggu Lawa

2008-10-12T14:22:00.003+08:00

[Abang ape kurang nya! Hari ini hari Raya!]

Flashback

2008-10-11T11:28:00.003+08:00

OMG LAH KIN! LOOK AT US! HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I came across this really ancient photo of us while clearing my Photobucket. Haha. Hilarious lah.

It's really sad when you see your best friends drifting apart when you've had a ball of time together :(

Go Shorty, It's Your Birthday.

2008-10-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHRAF KHAN!

Hello BIG boy. In my favourite words "Cheyy da besar sehh!" Haha.

Enjoy the birthday dinner, enjoy the presents (this is your lucky year Abg got you a present!) and enjoy the company. I know things will never be the same without Mama but trust me, there's always a silver lining behind each cloud :) Everything happens for a reason, okay? :) Mama's wishing you Happy Birthday too, you know that :))

Big boy now, you've been wonderful since things took a toll on us and thank you. Thank you for dropping your childish acts (though not all of it) and becoming a responsible brother. Thank you for the support you've rendered to me.

You know I love you.

BA BA BLACK SHEEP HAVE YOU ANY WOOL!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Nothing but yours.

2008-10-10T23:20:00.003+08:00

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you

Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos

Taking them off cause I feel a fool

Trying to dress up when I'm missing you

Ima step out of this lingerie

Curl up in a ball with something Hanes

In that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on

With nothing but your t-shirt on

Friday.

2008-10-10T12:25:00.002+08:00

It's a Friday. I'm on MSN. Im blog hopping, surfing my Friendster and Facebook and I am in shorts. Only means one thing. Heh heh.

When I tried to aid myself last night, things took a turn. I took Papa's medicine for my flu & fever and turns out that I was allergic to it. Instant rashes! Baah. ANd for that, I got myself an MC. Doc wanted to give 2 days but since its a Friday then 2 days for what! Cheh.

I was a little worried about my interview with the client though because both lw and I are down. Thankfully it's postponed! Get well soon Lee Wei. We need to boycott LJS at Vivo man.

But my torture is not over yet. I took my anti-biotics this morning and rashes got worst. So I'm not sure if I am also allergic to my anti-biotics or its just the rashes playing around in my body. Feeling nauseous and having diarrhoea doesn't help at all eh please.

In a way, it's a blessing that Hilmi's confined this week. Because I need my rest. But boohooooo! We still got 9 days to go! :(( All I want to do is just meet him and whine whine whine out at him and just lay on his shoulders. Bummers!

My stomach feels hot. Why ah?

Come Back.

2008-10-09T11:34:00.002+08:00

I am alone and sick in this cold room of mine. Lee Wei is on mc today :(

We went to Long John at Vivo last night and he had food poisoning from their fries. He did complain that it tasted like toilet. Poor boy. He had the runs till today.

I was about to call in sick today till I received his sms and noted that he needs it more than me :(

I just kissed my sick father good night last night and now, I've caught his terrible flu. BOOO!!

All my hardwork and nerve wrecks I've experienced for the past week ended in just 1.5 hours. I followed my supervisor to court yesterday and she was stressing on how strict the judge was. Guess who that judge was. You guess! Hahahaha.

"Your Honour if you may, I have an intern to sit in with us"

"Whats her name?"

"I have written it down on the paper Your Honour. Raudhah Amin"

"From where?"

"Temasek Polytechnic Your Honour"

"Aaah. We usually torture interns so you would be afraid to join the practice. *laugh"

bla bla bla trial goes on.

"SF, your intern looks very stressed! She looks like she's afraid you're going to hit her or something"

*courtroom laughs*

"Relax my dear. Don't look so stressed"

HAHAHAHAHA. This Judge has something with me is it! Second time I appear before him and he wasn't listening to the submissions again but was focusing on how stressed I look. Lol. I love you too DJ S :D

He is a very very nice yet strict judge. I like him allottt. Haha.

In case you're still wondering, its the judge whom said I was staring at him and can't make him think. Hahahahah.

Anyhoo, life's been a routine for me except for the few trips to Vivo & Marina after work. Other than that, I wake up rush for the bus & train, meet lee wei, lunch, go home, spend time with family, sleep. Then it repeats. Heh.

And I will spend more time with Lee Wei then I spend time with anyone else this 3 months. LOL. Luckily eh! If not I'll be stuck with boredom and no one to gossip & steal cookies with. Khehehehe.

Let's go back to Hilmi & how happy I was at being to able to handle his non-existance each week. I knew I spoke too soon! He has to be confined for this week and will only book out on the 17th. THATS 2 WEEKS WITHOUT HIM YOU KNOW! :(( It's only the first week and I'm so sad already. Boooooooo!

Khehehehehe. I did not know my brothers have the same taste as my boyfriend. Oh everything is much simpler now! :DD Comical lah you abang, mati2 nak fit into the shoe. Hhaahahah.

I hate my sorethroat :(

2008-10-07T11:34:00.002+08:00

Cool eh cool eh cool eh!!!! Check out my pretty eye mannnn! Hahaha

Yes I've been too busy or too tired to even do a proper update.

My lovelies were over at my place last Friday for dinner cum Hari Raya. Hehehe. Thank you Hilmi, Hisham, Lee Wei, Ee Ting, Pei Lin, Joel, Ravan, Melvin, Khai, Mei Zhi, Kenneth and Ab :)

Poor shot but I think everyone was in this photo. Just hidden. Haha.

LOVE YOU GUYSSS!

:DDDD

2008-10-04T15:26:00.003+08:00

I think more often than not, I keep protecting the feelings of others and the person I end up hurting is myself.

I think more often than not, I keep thinking of others and I forget myself.

At times when I end up crying and asking myself what happened, I realised that I've been caring too much for others and I left myself unattended.

Selamat Hari Raya.

2008-09-30T23:01:00.002+08:00

On behalf of my family, I apologise for all our sins towards you, our words that have hurt you or our actions that have upset you.

Selamat Hari Raya my fellow Muslim readers...

From my family to yours! :) Have a great Syawal!

Saturday.

2008-09-27T11:25:00.001+08:00

It's going to be a bright, sunshine-y day!

Hello from RP

2008-09-26T13:22:00.002+08:00

Republic Plaza, not Republic Poly. Haha.

Anyhoo, finally it's Friday. This week crawled even slower! I think it's cause I'm dreading every single day at work (and will continue to do so till the end of my case). Haha. Actually the case is interesting.. what makes me hate it is the amount of work to be prepared. Heh heh heh.

Thank you, Norashikin for always making me laugh uncontrollably even through my saddest moments :) Wa lup sama lu!

We broke fast at Marina because yes, I was craving for the ayam penyet again. Haha. We both were catching up on alot of stuffs and while doing so, I accidentally took a sip of my crysenthemum(sp?) tea and thank god I spit it back out immediately! Hahahaha. And she did not even stop me coz she was like "Okay its normal for people to drink" Hahahahaahah!

Oh and that spot is a perfect place to catch the sunset! My eyes were fixed on the clouds and rays of light the whole time. Simply breathtaking. Here from my office, I see nothing but the clear blue sky. No clouds at all! Boring!

The hunt for that particular pair of shoe I have been eyeing for soon started. Haha. So many hilarious things happened at Charles & Keith. I was actually still very fickle minded over that shoe coz it's quite costly and I'm broke. So I tried it on first to see if it would fit nicely. And as soon as I was about to stand up to walk to the mirror, my shoe flung towards the dude in front of me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. No, not the shoe I was trying on! My own shoe! It got stuck at the front of my feet and I did not notice it you see. Lolol. That guy was equally shocked. Luckily his girlfriend didn't take my shoe and slap my face with it. hahahahahahaha.

That was not it! When I took a step forward, the strap on my own shoe was stuck on the shoe I was trying on, and it followed me when I walked. hahahahahahahhahhaha. Thank god it was only one step forward. Lololol! In the end, I bought the shoe. YYAAYYYY!

Urgghhh. I want to go out tonight. But clash ehh. Gang's off to Little India and primary school friends cancelled plans because I'm not going :( I'll feel bad eh go for one never go for the other. Haha. So the solution is... stay home, accompany papa & BAKE!

Oh 1.30 already. I want to get out of this chiller. Bye!

2 Months.

2008-09-24T11:14:00.001+08:00

Hi Ma.

Today marks the second month since you left us :( Second month at this exact time. Time really flies. I still miss you alot. Do you know that? You have no idea how much I miss you. And I have no idea how much you miss us either :(

Working in this firm reminds me alot of you. Really alot. You were the one who pushed me to get into this firm and I really am thankful I heed your advice.

It's not been easy for us Ma. Really. We're still trying to get to the hang of not having you physically around us. And especially since I passed driving, I've always wished you could have been there to congratulate me and I know you'll be the only one who's sincerely very excited for me to take you on a ride. You'll be the one calming papa down and telling him how harsh he is on me. You'll be the one motivating me to drive better and earn papa's trust. You'll be the person whom I'd first seek help from, through everything.

But now things have changed. I have to stop wishing. I have to live with the fact that you've left us for a better place. Now that's the hard part. Because really, I don't know what to do with the house. And I feel so sad that every other family will have their lontongs and rendangs and I'm the useless kid who doesn't know how to prepare all that. And for that, the family has to take the toll. They have to eat nonsense food on the eve of raya. I don't like Raya anymore. I want to learn Ma, I do. And I will. I've regretted not jotting down the receipes from you or for not putting all my energy into cooking when I'm with you.

I really just wish you would come down just for a minute to tell me everything is going to be okay and both you and I are doing well. And the family will be able to get on with just feeling your warmth in our hearts. Just one minute.

I miss you alot, my Mama.

Breakouts.

2008-09-23T20:55:00.003+08:00

I don't think I am stressed out from work, not till today. But I don't understand why I'm starting to have break outs. Its ugly please. I've always maintained a clean face and now there's bumps all over. YUCK!

There's one right at my eyebrow, I tell you that one better be gone okay! FAST! I need OXY10! (Kenneth, your joke! Hahahahha) But whatever cream there is, it better be good. And this would be my first time everrrr applying stupid pimple creams. Does it really work?

I intended to bake today but I figured I will need to gather as much energy I can from now on to actually memorise the contents for 5 affidavits! MAD! But oohh exciting, I'll be following my supervisor for this hearing. Wheeee!

I want ppiicctturress to upload to this stale blog. I hope I'll get them by tonight otherwise, next week it is.

I was thinking of using my Raya money to upgrade my phone. But Samsung Omnia is $698 and my phone is worth $100. Not worth it to just burn $600 on a phone eh. I can use that $600 for more shoes, bags ( I can just get that Guess bag I've been longing for and still have $500 to spend!), clothes and FOOD! Hurmm. But I really really like that phone :( Nevermind lah. Just wait lah!

It's only Tuesday and I've missed you. How like that how!

And I just can't get the fun I had on Saturday out of my head! Hehehehe! This Saturday's gonna be a blast as well! Wheee!

Good night world.

Work it!

2008-09-22T17:18:00.002+08:00

My weekends were so great, I dread coming to work today. Haha. I wanted more weekends with Hilmi & my family! :(

Anyway, look at my main motivation at work. ahaha.

Oh. I don't know how the news got so far (either by word of mouth or my blog) but urm, that time in the court, I was not scolded by the Judge please. It was more of him teasing me. Come on. You think if I were scolded, I'd be laughing away to it? Mad or what! Haiyoo. See see! This is how stories get distorted and people end up fighting over gossips! Tsk tsk tsk!

Anyway, 8 more days to Raya and 8 more week to end of SIP! YAYYYY!

Everything seems so fast suddenly. And I don't know if I'll get caught for blogging from work. Hahahaha. If I will get caught, I'm DEAD! But not my fault what! Ya its only 5.15pm but my supervisor said I'm done for the day kayyy. Hahhaha.

Have a great week y'all!

2008-09-21T00:22:00.003+08:00

I have way too many photos waiting to be uploaded. Aju, I'll need to drop by your place and return your camera soon! Very very soon! And I need to get my own camera. Hahaha.

Super Imports Night 2008 was a little disappointing. Not much hot cars. Not much hot girls either (Joel, you lied!). There were more of normal family cars you see on the road then sports & pimped cars. So boo to that! It's only the second time the event is happening and my first to it. I prefer the motorshow at Suntec (which is also coming up! 25 Sept - 5 Oct).

Sadly, I might miss the motorshow because Hilmi & I can only go on a Saturday and that unfateful Saturday is the first week of raya. Obviously he'll be out with his family. Haiya.

The week crawled by pretty slow and when Saturday comes, it zoomed past just like that! So unfair. I wish time could expand itself each Saturday :(

Arguments would (almost always) only lead to a better, much stronger relationship. See! Everything happens for a reason :)

And this whole NS thing really works! I've always been reading about boyfriends becoming more romantic bla bla. I honestly never thought it would have an effect on my most unromantic boyfriend in the world, but it did! Hahahaa. I'm hearing what girls love to hear almost everytime I want to hear it, which is good! And yupyup, you really cherish the ones you have only when they're gone. Not gone gone. But gone for awhile gone. Haha.

I love my Hilmi :)

Good Night world!

Serving the Nation.

2008-09-17T21:47:00.004+08:00

Seems like almost every other person I know is serving the nation or will be serving the nation soon enough. Haha.

I've gotten used to the calls and once a week meet ups. Heh heh heh! It gets more exciting this way! The high anticipation for each other Friday night. Haha.

Okay enough.

I'm watching some drama serial on Suria and I can't stand women with pencil thin eyebrows. Please lah ladies, it does not look good on you. You'll look like a cartoon. Even cartoon characters look way better then you! Haiyo!

Speaking of which, while walking around with Kin the other time, we saw this secondary school girl with completely shaven eyebrows and they weren't drawn either! FREAK SHOW ALERT! I shan't say more about her. Lol. you just picture it. And she had a wide forehead. So yepp. Haaha. And Kenneth, you were the one who said those with bushy eyebrows are safe from ghosts right? LOLOL. That girl better be praying hard!

I really think this whole "only top 5% of polytechnic students" can gain admission into local universities are bullshit please. And even so, we'd still have to compete with the flock of JC students. Why are we at a disadvantage when what we learn is highly similar to what we will be learning in the uni? Whatever happened to equality? Psshh. It is highly irritating and frustrating. It is not an excuse but that is one major barrier us poly students have to get through, just to pursue our degree. Not everyone has money to gain their degree from universities overseas okay.

So fed up I tell you!

New Generation.

2008-09-16T22:05:00.002+08:00

I have a feeling this might be a pretty wordy post. Heh. So there. That's your caution!

In the train every morning, I'd be poking my head behind someone's shoulder and have a glimpse of Today. And today, I saw (yet another) article on why our women are still single.

As usual, everyone plays the pin-pointing game. Women are blaming men for not having enough confidence, for being egoistic enough to not want to approach those with a better job position or higher educational background than them, for being taller than them. Hahahaha.

There has been articles and articles of such stories. I find it pretty hilarious. It won't be long enough before a male journalist voices out his comments. Too many ang-mohs to compete with and duh. Who would want to go out with someone making bigger bucks than the guy right? How to foot the bill! How to make himself feel better!

I did come across one article though, about men saying our women are too choosy and picky with everything and they can't be bothered.

My stand is... Ah good lah. Women complain, men complain, no one gets married and gives the nation the babies they want. Hahaha. Hello, put your differences aside can? Noone is perfect please! And men, please turn your ego a notch down. It's not doing you any good!

[This also shows how smarter we women are getting since there's more and more educated women with at least supervisorial posts. Khekhe! ]

But eh. Most of the articles are prejudiced against career women or those who are highly famous (beauty queens, Managers, bla bla). So actually, only they have the problem of getting hooked. Hahaha. All other normal women are happily attached and lying low. Heh heh heh.

Oh wonderful. I just got off the phone with Hilmi and he's POP is in JANUARY!!!! I HAVE TO ADD ANOTHER MONTH TO MY COUNTDOWN! NOOOOOO! WHY NS, WHY?!!? :(

Sigh. It's okay. More time to appreciate him. hahahahahahaha. What kind of nonsense is that!

Meanwhile, work has been getting pretty stressful. Not for me but for Lee Wei and since I'm with him and he forever has urgent deadlines to meet, I'm involved too because I'd be helping him. Hahahaha. Seriously, everyone needs to learn to stay cool, calm & composed.

R E L A X ! ! !

Time passes by real fast. Its already been 16 days since we fast. Half a month already. Which means Raya is coming in about 14 days and it further implies that I would have to start baking real soon. Bummers! Pretty useless actually. Not like we're celebrating it already. I am only baking because I feel like having chocolate chip cookies and my big mouth offered to bake some for Hilmi darling. Oh well...

It's 1030pm now. Bedtime!

So bad.

2008-09-15T20:08:00.004+08:00

I've still been crying myself to bed. I can't believe I'm so weak. So terribly down. I miss you so very much Ma.

I can't be selfish right. I can't. It's better this way. The end to all your sufferings. Sigh.

Why?

Too good to be true.

2008-09-15T19:30:00.002+08:00

I love my lawyer very much. She's way too nice to me. She's always giving me a crash course on the topic before I embark on her work. She will always see if I'm getting along fine and she never gets irritated with my questions! I really think she's nice by nature. Hehehehe.

Lee Wei & I agreed that everyone in the firm is too nice something must be wrong somewhere. Or maybe it's just our honeymoon period. Hahaha. Wait till all the anger and frustrations come in! Lol.

I'm going to court again this Wednesday with that very nice lawyer. Hehehehe. So shiok! And oh. How great! Our own supervisor was not aware that we'd be with the firm for 3 months. She thought it was just a 2 weeks thing. What 2 weeks?! What is there to learn within 2 weeks?! Mad!

Anyhoo, met up with Mel in the train and the ride home was fast! Time passes by very fast when you're having fun :)

I wanted to blog about something not related to work but it just slipped off my mind. Great.

I've fallen in love with the moon again. You should really check the babe out tonight okay!

Wooott! Finally some gathering this week! I'm so excited!

Iftar with my poly mates (more of dinner with them. haha) Iftar with the primary school loves. Wheeeee! Shiokkk!

Okay ah I'm getting so random already. I want to go cut my fringe now. Bye!

Countdown.

2008-09-14T20:37:00.002+08:00

I finally bought my peep-toe heels just now, on impulse, at a cheap steal! Hahahaha.

I tend to buy things on impulse at times. Bad, very bad. But I've been curbing that evil crave.

Hilmi's only going back to camp now and I'm counting down the days to next Saturday and half of me is dreading work. Because there will be no reply to my messages till 10pm :(

But the other half of me is excited to get on those shoes and new skirt and top! And dinner with the gang tomorrow, yeehaww!

And I'm still sad. Bummer!

SUPER IMPORTS NIGHT! Watch out! We're coming for youuu!

And please do take a look at the moon tonight. I've always had a love affair with the beautiful moon. It's endless glow. It's big round globe. Just breath-taking. It would have been even more enchanting if I were at East Coast & on the breakwaters with my man :)

Ohhh. I'm only getting used to it now. Baah.

Lovely.

2008-09-13T23:55:00.003+08:00

Finalllyyyyy Muhd Hilmi sayang is back! :DD After what seemed like forever, we finally talked for more than 3 minutes! HOORAY!

And in 5 hours, I threw $200 in Bugis alone. Means $40 per hour. Whoa. Nevermind whatever. I love the stuffs I bought. Hehehehehehe. I am beginning to dislike Bugis eh. Almost every other shop will have the "NO TRYING" sign but they have fitting rooms. For what eh have fitting rooms like that? Makes no sense!

Anyhoo, I bought this skirt under the impression that it was grey in colour but when I got home and tried it on again, it was actually like.. baby poo green. you know? hahahaha.

Nevertheless, it's still my one stop shopping place because its cheeaaappppp and I'm on a tight budget! HA HA HA. I can never make it out of there without my Hilmi though. Heh. I am not such a good shopper, okayyyy I know yang. He will always be the one searching through each rack to get nice clothes for me. Hahaha.

I can trust my boyfriend in everything when shopping EXCEPT FOR SHOES. Yang, you have BAD TASTE IN WOMAN'S SHOES! Hahahahahahaha! The shoes he picks for me is what my Mama will always wear. Lolol.

"Whhat! Means Mama got good taste what!"

She does but it also means you got makcik2 taste ayang! Hahahahaha!

Yes yes I'm sorry for the vast coverage of Hilmi. I missed him so much :(

One week down, many more weeks to come!

OH OH OH! I bought gladiators! I've always been so afraid to buy them because I don't think I have that much outfits to go with it but heheyyy! I've got that yellow sundress! Woohoooo!

And I love my job! Work has been so wonderful the moment I woke up this Saturday morning, the first thing I thought of was drafting my affidavit. hahahaha.

Okay, good night world!

Up and about.

2008-09-11T21:49:00.002+08:00

SIP has already sucked out my life for the first two days. Hahaha.

Lee Wei and I are chucked in a lawyer's room with our own IBM laptops (boo you all suckers!) BUT, there is only one cable for the internet and I'll have to sit outside at my own cubicle if I ever need the net. But last I checked, I'm still in the room with dear Lee Wei. Heh heh heh.

I went to court today and something pretty hilarious happened. The Judge was about to read out his order but he was thinking of what to say first so I was still busy writing what he had said prior to that.. Then suddenly the court room went silent and I thought it was because of me writing. It was my first hearing you see. So that explains the kancheong-ness I had over everything. So I looked up and the Judge and I had a good staring session that lasted for about 2 minutes when he went

"Urm.. Your intern is staring at me.. I can't think"

BAHAHAHAAHHAHA. Then I shifed my gaze off him and then on, I did not really look at him in the eye. And finally when everything was done, we had to meet in the eye again and he almost chuckled when he asked if I had any questions. Hahahaha.

I've made friends with a few nice people in the firm and the lawyers are all career woman and pretty and nice, some married some not :) Soo inspiring! But I think to get to NUS Law from TP Law, you've gotta be a brainiac and be perfectly sane like Lum Guo Rong. Hahaha.

I look forward to work now, unlike yesterday. Lee Wei and I were dreading the whole day. The first half of our day killed us so I guess that's why.

HOORAY WORK! Hahahaha. (I need more new tops! Formal wear everyday is madness!)

Hilmi and I have been having our 2 minute conversation (mad!) and thank god he's given an early release. I can kiss my 10 days waiting time good bye! HOORAY! It really is not funny to just hear from him at 5am and 10pm ONLY everyday :(

Kentsssss, I miss you alot you know or not! :(

Just like that.

2008-09-08T20:10:00.003+08:00

"Okay bye yang... See you in 10 ++ days!"

Just. like. that. Wow. I think this week passed by very fast. Before we both know it, Hilmi's off to NS tomorrow :(

We only had a movie and some Body Shop lovin` for me before we parted. Hahaha. I swear I could have gotten so emotional at the train platform if it weren't for the mass of crowd. Sighhh. That was very sad :(

Honestly, I am not depressed that he's going. Not the way other girlfriends are when their boyfriend is booking in. I don't know why. Haha. I've always been very enthusiastic about going through NS with Hilmi so I guess that's partly the reason.

In fact, I am super excited to go through this phase with Hilmi. Very very very excited! And I always and still have the belief that if a couple can get through NS smoothly then everything after that will be easy going.

WHEEEEEE!!!

And SIP's in t w o days time! Hehehe. Exciting!

2008-09-07T13:53:00.002+08:00

While waiting for friends to load, I shall make a quick update.

The BBQ with bros was superb! There was too much food to eat and we had alot of fun, especially when night came. The setting up of the fire was always an easy task thanks to our FlameMaster :)) The BBQ went great till it started to rain at about 9. It was so dramatic, that time. I was with a styrofoam box over my head, then it got stolen by Ab to store the food then Joel and I were covered in garbage bags. Thank god for FlameMaster and Pei Lin (was it you Pei Lin?) who came to our rescue with umbrellas.

And we still continued to BBQ after seeking shelter at a nearby tent with our portable tray. Lol. We burned the cloth though so that marked the end of our BBQ.

And how can anything be complete without our Murderer tradition. But sadly yesterday, our true Murderer (read: LNC) was not there to complete everything :( But even so, he wouldn't have had the chance to kill because we twisted the process. Hahahaha!)

Proper update soon, readers!

And I drove to Choa Chu Kang today. Despite a few setbacks, I think it was pretty good, no?

HAHAHAHA.

Tummy talk.

2008-09-06T02:21:00.002+08:00

I have weird cravings at such an ungodly hour!

I want satay (with ketupat!) and BBQ stingray again :(

East Coast, anyone?

Crossing borders.

2008-09-05T13:48:00.003+08:00

It was a quick visit yesterday, but worth every single minute of it. Boy don't I miss my uncle!

The aunties and I had a quick shopping spree at Jusco yesterday but it won't be sale time till end of the month I think (makes sense cause of Hari Raya). Lee Wei has been telling me about it and finally I stepped foot into that place. Woohoo shiok or what! Everything you want is there! They've got Dorothy Perkins, Guess, Topshop, Levis, La Senza....

Anyway, we couldn't make it back in time for iftar at home so all we had was a cranky Alyaa, dates (I had my kebab) and the ultimate boredom while waiting for the checkpoint to clear.

"Aunty! Nak see mirror nak see mirror!"

This was wayyy before she got all cranky! But she's still the cutest thing ever! I love that little girl!

Okay I'm over being all sad and depressed. Roll over, darkness! Here comes the light! Eww so cheesy I know!

WOOHOOOOO! PIT TOMORROW. JENG JENG JENG. UNLEASH THE WILD SIDE!

Why?

2008-09-04T20:41:00.002+08:00

I have been feeling angsty lately. I don't know why. I can just get angry for no reason at all. Or maybe there are reasons why but I choose to ignore it.

Now I can't go on this way. It is very unhealthy for me and the people around me :( I am trying to control it. Really, I am :(

Sigh. When the opportunity comes knocking by, I could not be there to greet it. That's highly frustrating and sad.

I've become such a stupid sad pathetic person.

P A T H E T I C.

Face it, lady...

2008-09-03T23:17:00.001+08:00

... YOU SUCK SITI RAUDHAH!

Good things will come :))

2008-09-03T18:05:00.002+08:00

Wow this whole patience thing works instantly! Hahaa.

I finally drove today, under Abang's supervision. HEHEHEHEHEHEH. Exciting or what! I drove to my grandma's and Hilmi's and it was so much fun! :DDDDD

Auto cars suck. I don't like it, not one bit! Papa doesn't want me to drive an auto car either so phewww! :))

Anyway, lets talking about parking. I panicked (as expected) when Abang told me to park the car at grandma's. Coz usually we would just stop by the side (thinking back, thank god I parked. Because if I stopped by the side like we usually do, then I'd have more trouble making a u-turn in that small area!) and yes parking is such a hassle! Because you know, that is my first time parking and secondly, there was a car next to my lot! Urm thirdly, it was an auto car. Heh.

Anyway, I got all hyped up when we drove to Hilmi's. And yes I parked again. But this time, I think I did wayyy better. Hehehe! I managed to get in the lot (no cars beside me) and wooootttt! First time okay already ehhh! The moment I stepped out of the car, I went so unglam...

"DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?! IN THE LOT!!! IN THE LOT!!!"

The best part was... Hilmi's mum was watching me from the kitchen window! Heh. There goes my reputation :( Auntie, faham2 eh! Saya baru pass, excited lah! Hehehehe.

So anyway, another round of driving tonight but this time round, with Daddy-O :DD And it's with the Lancer baby!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANKS ABANG! :D

Selamat Berpuasa :))

2008-09-02T22:56:00.003+08:00

Ramadhan. A wonderful month that cleanses us both physically and spiritually. A month full of goodness. And sadly, on the first day of this month I threw tantrums. I feel so horrible right now, I wish I could just shed my skin. I feel so ashamed of myself.

Alhamdullilah, I passed my TP when I thought I would fail. Alhamdullilah, things in my life has been wonderful. Everything fell into place, just the way I prayed for it to be :)

No I'm no longer going to be eager to drive around in the family car. Because I figured that if I don't have my daddy's blessings then no, I won't drive. Even if it takes longer then I want or expect it to be, it's okay :)

I want to be a better Muslim. I pray that I would. This beautiful month would help me make a start to achieve that goal, insya'Allah.

Selamat Berpuasa to my fellow Muslims :) Stay clear of all the sins, yo!

Have a great night everyone!

40 days Mama. This month, you will be free from any torture. I pray that you will always be free from it, that syurga will be yours. Insya'Allah. I love you so much!

It gets a little irritating when I know I dreamt of my Mama but I can't remember what it was about. But the amazing thing is, I knew it was a good dream and I'd always wake up smiling knowing that my day has started out great :) Thank you, Allah swt.

Complete woman.

2008-09-01T21:08:00.004+08:00

"You can drive while awaiting the delivery of your photocard driving license"

Cantikkkk! :DD

Anyway, family's really not supportive over all this. Yeah yeah the usual congratulations can get me where? Urgh! Urm.. we all have to start somewhere, don't we? You've yet to see me drive and already don't do this don't do that. I might as well just forget about taking my license altogether right?

Yes I'm very upset over the reaction. Abang won't let me drive alone for the next 2-3 months. Papa's pushing me to Hilmi. Thanks for the support, loves..

BOO. My happy mood just got murdered.

There goes my hopes and dreams of roaming around Singapore. There goes my plans to send Hilmi to camp and fetch him. Yada yada yada.

This sucks.

Selamat Berpuasa everyone!

Update: "Girl, wait lepas bulan puasa we go for driving okay"

(Girl, after fasting month we go for driving okay)

ONE MONTH FROM NOW?!?! MY LEFT FOOT WOULD BE A STRANGER TO THE CLUTCH, HELLOOOOOOOOO!!! THIS IS REAL STUPID. I HATE THIS. THIS SUCK.

STUPID BULLSHIT.

Update update: Thank you dear Hilmi, bros & Aju, for your car offers. Hehehehe. *hug*

2008-08-30T21:55:00.002+08:00

To whoever it was that went around saying my parents were divorced, I wonder were you got such an absurd story from. Urm hello? My parent were nowhere near that okay. And I even wonder how the whole story got started.

Anyway, I finally got to town with my dearest Puan Nora. Hehehehe! Thanks eh babe! Nasib kite meet before puasa! :DD

I have been spending and spending and spending as if I earn a monthly salary. Heh. I'm doing me alot of damage here ladies and gentlemen! I think it's time I start to leave my card at home. Hehehe! I've yet to get nagged from the dear boyfriend. Heh.

Why is it that us girls can never have enough? I went shopping for a bag because I kept telling myself

"Aiya! This handbag too small, that bag too big! I need a just-nice bag" Hahaha.

And trust me, I'll want another bag in a matter of time. Same goes for my shoes...

"Aiya this shoe dont go with this outfit. I'll need another pair of pumps"

Hahahaahha! What what! At least I save up for it on not spend on my Papa's money okay! I'm sensible enough, okay!

Anyway, kin and I had a great time in the fitting rooms. Hahahahaha! Typical eh I guess. But it's my first lesbian fitting. LOL. And I bought none of the tops I tried. Haha. What! For the colours I wanted, they did not have it in my size. So too bad so sad. But good also eh. Can curb my spending.

Sigh. I dislike the night. I dislike the troubles I have. I can just ignore it, if I want to. But urm... ignoring it will not get me anywhere, yes? It'll just put a pause to it and I'll soon have to return to the trouble. Nyehh. I think I'm developing a temper. I should stop keeping my troubles in me. Bleargh.

Mundane.

2008-08-30T14:08:00.003+08:00

Happy Saturday fellow readers! :))

I slept in till 1pm and boy doesn't it feel good! Hahaha! Its been a very very long time since I slept like that. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I was awoken to sad news. But it's okay. At least I get to meet my love :DD No, not Hilmi.

Norashikin Kamarolzaman, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU! WHEEEEE!

It's been awhile since I step foot into town. And I better do it now within this week, before SIP starts.

Abang's mini-BBQ session last night at Aunty Ya's was great! But half way through, I had no mood to do anything so I just slept in. Haha. Kaisah Alyaa is still as cute as ever. She's now a big bully, yo! She bullied this boy at the playground, she bullied her 3 year old cousin that other day (she called him a baby! Hahaha.) And she's getting more and more talkative now!

This world is so small please. I'm getting affiliated to more people through people. Haha.

Go shorty, its your birthday.

2008-08-29T10:42:00.006+08:00

Dear Mohd Alif Khan,

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!!

Yet again, a year older never a year wiser. Now tell me, where would you like to be on Monday night? I'd gladly take you on a ride, my dear brother. Hahaha!

Urm. I've been meaning to say this (but you know we don't do this personally. Haha) Thank you very much for being a good brother, especially so since Mama left us. And please do continue being a good brother. Heh Heh Heh.

I love you! :))

Obsession.

2008-08-28T21:07:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry sayang.

Lewis Hamilton is just too irresistable. Too hot, too cute, too everything! Look at his arms, you just look at his arms. You understand why he's on my desktop now, right? You do right? You do know I have a soft spot for botak boys right? And this man, you see his lips... You see his arms. You know all I care about is always the arms right?

HEHEHEHEHE.

I LOVE LEWIS HAMILTON!!!

Someone please get me tickets to f1 :(

Procrastination.

2008-08-28T09:45:00.002+08:00

When I saw that I do have silent reader(s), I was so motivated to update my blog again. Haha. But! Now, the problem is... Ravi's camera is with me and photos are not uploaded yet. And I'll feel incomplete if I don't have my Friday post with photos. So once again, procrastinate! Haha.

I got up bright and early again today for my circuit. I don't want to comment on anything about me passing or failing because if I say I think I'll pass, then I might fail and be even more disappointed. If I say I fail, worst! What if I really fail! You know? Hahaha.

It's cool now that Abg can have access to Long's car. Heh heh. Lancer baby, I hope you'll be mine starting next week. Hehehe! Oh speaking of Lancer! The RalliArt Team sent my Papa a letter yesterday and boy was I so eager to read it! I love letters from RalliArt. They are soo cool like that!

There's an Advanced Driving Course that's going to happen on the 21st September and they'll teach you cool stuffs like how to use your handbrake and make that perfect turn, how to manage your car when cornering. It is so exciting and fun! But I doubt I'll be eligible for it. Who am I kidding man. With a triangle, I still dream of doing all that? Hah hah hah!

Ooooh. I'm having lunch at Airport later! I had a sudden crave to go there. Yes, I do crave for places too. Hehehe.

So till then, fellow readers! :))

Ugly Duckling.

2008-08-27T22:56:00.003+08:00

I digged out two whole drawers of old photo albums, hoping to walk down memory lane. Now it has to be made clear that I have no idea what I looked like as a baby. Like, before I turn 1 and all because the maid who took care of me back then, fled off with all my baby photos. Haha. So I really cherish whatever photos of me I have left.

And the most cutest photo I have of me is currently this:

Check out my lips mannn! Sexy and juicy or what! I got it from my Mama! Hahaha. As I browsed through somemore, I was very disturbed by this next photo...

Shaf! Can you please go ask Papa who this big fat ugly baby is!

(5 minutes later. Yes Papa took that long to put a name to this baby)

Kak, this big fat ugly baby is... YOU!

WHAT?!?!?!

Omg seriously lah. Go click on that photo, and just look at how I was. I really don't think its me. My eyebrows are not like that, my face is just... my goodness. Then the hair... THE HAIR! Hahahahah! I still don't think its me!

I grew up and look like that, and continue to have that same face up till now. Haha. My face don't change ah. Why eh? But thank god I evolved from that ugly baby up there! Eww man!

Yes, DisneyFest. My favourite of all time!
Just look at my Salomah hair. Just look at it. And how did I smile? Hahahahaahah!
AWWW. This was at Penang, with Mama Dearest :)) I still remember her saying

"I want to take one photo with my only daughter!"

Haha. Still so fresh in my mind :)

Sixteen years old, and I outgrew my Mama. Haha. For some reason, this is my most favourite photo of me and my Mama :))

There she is. The woman who went through 9 painful months for me. The woman who spent about 18 years more, tolerating my nonsense, teaching me the right from wrong, always advicing me on relationships. The woman who would always be there for me, rain or shine. The woman whom I love the most. The woman whom will always be with me. My mother.

Oh Mama. If only you knew. If only you knew how much I miss you right now, every day, every hour, every minute, every second of my life. I love you Mama.

Do you smell what I smell?

2008-08-27T18:53:00.002+08:00

Sniff around, everyone. Do you smell what I smell?

You don't? You sure? Try take a deep breath. TRY IT NOW!

I smell
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
FREEDDOOOMMMMM!!!

YUPIDOOO YEHAAAWWWW!!

I'M FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

But, I'll only be this free for about 2 weeks? SIP SIP SIP SIP SIP. Excitiinnggg!!

Hehehehehe! I've been super giggly today. Prolly its cause I know exams won't come till like, end of the year.

*Does crazy dance*

HEHE!

Ah boring already ah. I don't know what to say. And I'm still lazy to update about what happened last Friday. Haha.

Later, mates!

Quickies.

2008-08-26T17:13:00.003+08:00

Here's some quick updates

My brain feels like bursting (just any minute now)
My boyfriend turned into Chris Brown (I'm so tempted to post his photos. Haha!) It really tickled me but not bad, dude's got style. Hahahahaha!!
Circuit's goooodddd! Everything's cleared... Alhamdullilah.
TP is in 6 days. S I X !!
I've got nothing else to say. This fifth point is just to make it complete. Haha. It's weird to stop at 4.

Okay people! Back to accountsssss! See you guys in 2 dayssss!

WHEEEEEEE!!

ENJOY YOUR WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY :DDDDDD

You know its time when...

2008-08-26T14:18:00.002+08:00

You know it's time to start panicking when the events are visible on your desktop.

Heh Heh Heh. Be afraid, be very afraid!

:DDD